Coming back....

So I was in county jail for 30 days last fall for a probation violation. I went through some really serious bad shit in there. I have epilepsy, schizoaffective disorder, anxiety and ADHD. My medications were withheld the first week I was there and I was kept in isolation. I went through horrible withdrawal, seizures and hallucinated for the entire week. I had absolutely no idea I was even hallucinating until a week after I put back in general population. Some other bad shit happened that I can't go into detail about but i was sexually assaulted. I also contracted MRSA and 2 weeks after I was released spent 6 days in ICU with sepsis; I almost died.

I came home to be told by all but 2 people that I was lying, crazy and told to not talk about what happened. So until February I didn't talk about it. It ate me alive. I began to think I was crazy. I became terrified of police and nurses. I never left my house. In january I called my criminal attorney about filing a civil suit, which he wouldn't take because his lawfirm is in bed with the county. I also confided in 2 therapists about what happened. One of the therapists diagnosed me with PTSD and said I had symptoms since I got home in October.

At the very end of January a woman came forward about going through the exact same thing I did in 2013 except to a much more horrible extreme. I had it so much easier than she did. She filed a federal human rights lawsuit. So the few people who supported me encouraged me to contact her attorney and see what my options are. I'm suing now too.

After I got home in October up until a month ago were the worst 6 months of my life. PTSD is the absolutely crippling. I had flashbacks and breakdowns the first month I was home but after burying everything until the woman came forward I had numbed myself. But after she came forward and everyone started telling me how sorry they were for not believing me, I started reliving everything over again, and again, and again. I'd have dozens of flashbacks and breakdowns a day and the nightmares and night terrors were horrible.

But a month ago I got a new psychiatrist and I started Haldol and minipress. I can't even begin to tell you how much better my life has become. I've had 3 flashbacks in 4 weeks. I rarely have nightmares. I don't cry anymore.

I stopped camming when I got home because I lost my sex drive and really wanted nothing to do with men. But this last month my interest is growing more and more.

I just wanted to reach out to anyone who has PTSD and tell you, it does get better. I thought it never would- it does. I promise.
I'm so sorry for ur problem......Yes, PTSD is v real, and unfortunately all too common.

Great that u now have a good therapist and an attorney that will truly represent you....

Antidepressants sure can help, but one of the side effects is loss of sex drive but it will come back!

If u stay positive and look forward you will be better then before...

All the best! We are all rooting for you!